Comparison Leads to Pride or Despair, Not Humility or Joy

Recently my sweet friend and fellow blogger wrote a post about how comparison is the thief of all joy. It was pretty timely as just this week I’ve been talking with my husband regarding comparison. I’ve come to a conclusion: comparison leads to pride or despair.

You see, we’ve just crossed the 7th month mark of our stay here. Naturally, I assume, I’m thinking a little bit about how my language skills are matching up to others. If I’m as good as so and so was at this point, then I’ll be fluent in no time! THEN COMES PRIDE….. (maybe not immediately, but at least the seed for it has been planted.)

However, if I’m not as good as so and so, then I’m doomed to be on this uphill battle to learn language for the rest of my life. People will always peg me as the foreigner who’s “not that good” at Turkish. THEN COMES DESPAIR…. IMMEDIATELY.

Neither are good things. Neither will help me learn Turkish. Neither lead to joy.

As I’ve thought about this more and more and fleshed it out with my husband, I realize it truly does bleed into all areas of our life. Ever looked at another mom and inwardly cheered at how better behaved your child was? Or, alternatively (this is my bent), look at other moms and see how creative, fun, talented they seem at this whole mothering bit, and then feel like your poor child got the short end of the stick? DESPAIR.

Summer is coming. Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s thinking I don’t want to be seen in a swim suit! Although I’m thin, I’m what my friend Kim calls “skinny fat”. I am not toned, not in the least. I see despair rearing it’s head, and we are not even in the thick of April yet!

All that to say ladies, be encouraged to be comfortable in your skin, rejoice in your victories as a mother, and do your best to learn a little bit more of language everyday, despite whether you end up fluent tomorrow or 10 years from now. We’re all on different legs of the journey, so let’s try to be gracious with one another and encourage each other in whatever leg of the journey we find ourselves.


About Melissa

Melissa is a wife, mama and fan of all things Turkey. Among other adventures, Melissa loves living life in Turkey while raising her daughters. On IstanbulMoms you can hear about her adventures and escapades, tips for success, strategies for untangling the culture, and ideas for enjoying life in Istanbul to the fullest.

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